Claire's Page

Claire's Page

St. Paul's has a strong committment to the Evangelical spread of the Gospel into the Foreign Mission Fields as well as the Domestic, here-at-home opportunities. San Francisco isn't exactly right under our own nose, but our own Claire Howard is actively working under the umbrella of InnerCHANGE, a Christian mission which reaches out with friendship and the Gospel of Jesus to the homeless of our major cities. To that effort and to her support, we devote this page.

Latest Newsletter:

March 10, 2008

Dear Family and Friends,

Every Friday we go to a youth drop in center where we have dinner and watch a movie. Last week it was a crowded night and beautiful weather so some of us went outside and sat down in the parking lot. My teammate Paul got his guitar and began to jam with some youth. There was only one logical seat open in the circle and it was next to a guy I didn't know on the other side from the musicians so I didn't want to take it, but sat down and introduced myself. His name was Jello. He had runaway from home at 10 and had just recently been released from SF jail and was angry at God because of all the bad things in the world (sometime everything just comes out at once- you know?). I sat and listened (and prayed silently) to the stories about how his parents forced him to go to church events and how he hated it because he would ask questions and people would look afraid and tell him to be quiet. “Christians are scared to say `I don't know' because they have to be perfect or they will go to hell. I am not perfect.” He said. I smiled. “I'm not perfect and I don't know.” I replied, “but I'd love to talk and learn with you.” We continued to walk through many major fears he had with Christianity. It was special because I had prayed his ears would be open and they were! So many of our homeless friends when they talk about religion just want to tell you about what they think and why you are wrong. Jello was ready to listen. He knew that God was real, he had just never had anyone to sit and talk about it with who wasn't scared of his questions.

Valentines day was extra special this year as the 4th grade art and English class in my hometown made scarves and pretty scrolls which we got to hand out! There were many smiles! KK and Keziah were two of those friends. We had them over for a movie and dinner at our house last night because on Thursday one of our friends died after falling down an elevator shaft in a fight. It was very tragic and KK in particular is very sad about it. Most of our homeless friends way of coping with sadness is either getting very drunk or hurting someone. So it was nice to have KK over and have a positive evening with no regrets on his part.

Last week I went on my 3 day solitude retreat up in northern StateplaceCalifornia at a Franciscan retreat center. It was beautiful and very secluded. As most of you know solitude is a challenging but beautiful part of my Christian walk for me (for example I don't like sitting still) but this retreat really turned a corner for me. Here are the top three things I learned:

God wants me closer. When I would pray about specific “things” I wanted answers to I felt God saying to me, “come closer Claire, the view from here will change everything, just come to me.” So I did. I sat still and soaked in his presence and it was beautiful.

I am a sinner. I am so incredibly sinful. I lie, I am jealous, I don't love people, I am so sinful. It was very overwhelming to me. There is no way I could even function on the streets doing life if I didn't have Jesus there beside me.

But God is full of grace and is a big God. In spite of my sin Christ died for me because He loves me and has grace and forgiveness for all of my failings and God is big enough and loving enough offer this to everyone.

Maybe some of this looks basic but it is pretty great. I had a blast when friends asked me how my trip was telling them what I really learned J

Let us pray.

Answers to prayer:

Molly hasn't ditched school in 2 weeks!

For a fantastic solitude retreat!

Stuff to pray for:

For a bigger house soon for my team

For my teammate and housemate Courtney and her husband Luke who are now pregnant!!!

For the upcoming SummerXchange interns on our team (which I will be leading here in San Francisco) and for application process to go well, that God will bring us the perfect 2-3 people and housing for them.

For our many friends addicted to alcohol, meth heroin and other bad habits.

For our sad friends dealing with the loss of our friend who died in the elevator shaft.

For Joel as he gets released from prison soon.

For Jim as he is starting to become strong that he doesn't fall back again and relies on Christ.

For housing for Gigi and Joker

For Molly to continue to do well in school and life.

For Jesus to be our center always.

As seriously, thank you so much for your prayers and notes and scarves they really make me smile!

By His Grace,

Please send checks made to :

Claire Howard Church Resource Ministries

1959 Hayes Street 1240 N. Lakeview Ave Suite 120

San Francisco CA 94117 Anaheim CA 92807-1831

claire.howard@innerchange.org

You can donate online now at http://www.crmleaders.org/support/support-staff

our address Outer Circle team blog outercirclesf.blogspot.com

November 28, 2007

Dear Family and Friends,

Thanksgiving. Ah.

The day began with me looking out our third story window to see if Step was still sleeping, I asked him to sleep close so he could come over early to catch his much desired shower before heading over to begin cooking. I could just see his cart behind the tree at the end of the block and shuffled down in my slippers to wish him a happy thanksgiving J He was awake and gave me a happy hug “Is it 9:00 already? Happy thanksgiving! I'm happy as a runaway train!” and we began to roll up the egg shell pad he sleeps on and put away his battery powered radio eternally tuned on talk radio. I shuffle back up stairs and begin to pack up some games and food to take over to the top floor of our InnerChange house that our team in the Mission San Dimas uses which we call “heaven.” Step told me he found the name fitting as he says “that's how I describe it to my other friends.”

We packed up into the vehicles after my teammates Jessica and Mariah had gone to the park to make a quick check to see if a couple friends were around and just hadn't quite made it to our house. They found our friend Scott and he walked with them over and we left for heaven. Brian called me to make sure the address was correct. He had left early to make sure he was late, so he was very early and ended up being the last to leave J Brian, Step and I chopped celery and cubed bread for our stuffing while Joe and Paul cooked the turkey, Courtney and Laura baked the pies, Michael and Valo baked macaroni and cheese, Mariah, and Anthony worked on the set up, Ron and Luke worked on the sweet potatoes, and Jessica and Scott shopped for last minute items.

There was laughter and many jokes as we cooked and consumed two bags of chips and gigi anns much enjoyed dip. I passed around the phone and those of us who could took turns calling family. It was great to see a couple people talking to family for the first time in a long time! By timeHour15Minute203:20 we were ready to eat and went around the room sharing what we are thankful for, person after person sharing how happy we all are simply to be together and how much we love and appreciate each other. I wish you could have been a fly on the wall. It was so beautiful, I was all smiles and so was everyone in their own way J

Then the eating began. You kind of had to try everything since the cook was bound to ask you how you liked it but this created very large plates! We sat around eating and laughing and telling stories about past thanksgivings and lots of poop jokes (what shall we do with boys?) at our long pretty table Laura, Bryan and I had decorated. After we ate we played games and went on a walk in the brisk sunny weather to “settle our food.” Then our big muscular men helped rearrange the room into a theater and we watched a cheesy Christmas movie and made fun of it and laughed the whole time. I chuckled with Wally as he silenced his phone time after time from people wanting to buy drugs. “Gosh, it's thanksgiving, I told them I was busy!” Wally complained, “I guess they really need their fix.” “Well, I guess their just going to have to wait” I answer. “Yeah. Do you still have any info on that job you were telling me about before Claire?” “Sure, I can hook you up with a list of possible jobs and we could crank out a resume any day.” “we should do that some time.” “ok,” I reply smiling, he smiles back shyly knowing how happy that statement made me, “sounds like a plan..”

It was a rough day for Step as he didn't drink all day and so his body was very unhappy with him but I think that may have been just the trick as he promised me to have his shopping cart sorted into one backpack full of stuff by Thursday and then he will check into a detox program! Please pray for him to follow through and that the devils lies of “you can't do it, you'll just relapse again, just stay on the street, there's no point” Will not get through to him. It is really tough for him. It has been a very long time.

I just sat there for a bit after the movie was over looking around. I love this family of mine. Step, Wally, Vick, Courtnety, Laura, Michael, Mariah, Anthony, Scott, Joe, Paul, Ron, Luke, Jessica, Matthias and Heather. My moment was short lived as Wally thwacked me with a pillow and the fight began J As we cleaned up heaven and made our way home I smiled. Everyone had a wonderful day. A day which will be remembered for a long time. A day where we were all equal and valued and working together and laughing together. A day of peace where no one fought and no one needed to be looking out for themselves. A day where you could leave you stuff anywhere and not worry of it being stolen. A day where you know where you can use a bathroom and where you will get your food. A day where you were loved and valued by someone who knew you and some of your mistakes and still loved you. A day where you could talk about anything and it was ok, including Jesus. A day where you could laugh and be stilly and not have to worry about your street image. A day where you could take a nap on the couch and no cops woke you up. A day without alcohol or drugs. A day of thanks.

Let us pray.

Answers to prayer:

Laura got an apartment in Santa Rosa and her dad gave her a computer so she can begin to write her story!

Molly having a good boyfriend who is interested in school!

Step making good decisions and maybe going detox!

Promised land donating a couple sleeping bags and some clothes!

For Rodney's sobriety!!!

For Skips faith!

For Vick holding his job and liking it for almost a month now!

Stuff to pray for:

For Nini as she got arrested and maybe deported as she is underage.

Joker and Joy and Joy just found out she is pregnant.

For my grandpas as he morns the loss of my grandma.

For a bigger house soon for my team here so we can do what we feel called to do! We know someone wants to invest in a house and let us use it, we just don't know who yet.

For Prodigal Project as they decide how to sell the Land.

For Christian business owners who have openings that we could connect homeless friends who desire good jobs to.

For a good job for Laura in CityplaceSanta Rosa.

For our homeless friends who really struggle emotionally during the holidays due to past issues with their families or have restraining orders and can't see their children.

For those who have no where else to go.

For Jesus to meet us all and guide us.

Here is Outer Circle team blog's address incase you want to read more! outercirclesf.blogspot.com

And seriously, thank you so much for your prayers and notes (and pictures!) they really make me smile (especially one written on typewriters J) !

Happy almost advent!